TMI-tter

I remember as a kid having a lot of fun with those cheap 9-volt battery-powered walkie-talkies you bought at the toy store.

Sure, the reception was crappy and the range was limited, but it was fun to hear someone's voice from so far away.

Twitter to me seems like the internet version of those old walkie-talkies. Through a computer or an internet-enabled cell phone (a fancy version of a walkie-talkie, if you think about it), you can update anyone who wants to follow you on your progress throughout the day.

Twitter seems the next big thing in social networking - many famous people tweet their progress many times a day, and in this day of fast-arising events, this instant updating ability has shown its potential - I recall checking in on some Twitter logs a few times as Hurricane Ike roared onshore near Galveston, Texas.

I have no need for such a service, and I doubt I'd need it in the near future. But during some idle time on the bus today, I thought of a variation that would probably have only the heartiest and most dedicated of followers - TMI-tter.

(Note: this train of thought has no relation to, nor was influenced by, an actual Twitter-oriented keyword tracking service website called Tmitter, which I just discovered existed literally a few minutes before I typed this post.)

On my vision of TMI-tter:

- every visit to the latrine would be drippiliciously scrutinized.

- Kermit the Frog would not be serenading folks about a "Rainbow Connection", when colors like puke-yellow, split-pea green and fudgy brown are predominant.

- words like "turducken" and "scabby" and phrases like "lung butter" would be commonplace.

- graves everywhere would sport "vacancy" signs, as millions of better-left-untold secrets would never complete that fateful journey.

- the 1960's experiment with Smell-O-Vision would earn an unfortunate renaissance

- oh, those colors I mentioned? Many of them would be associated with the word "stain"

- "Oooh, my (insert body part here) shouldn't be bending that way" would be so often tweeted, a variation of the line will end-up in a top-selling hip-hop tune.

Yeesh...Okay, enough of that - TMI is TMI indeed.

I think I've only scratched the surface of "potential" for this concept. And no, potential does NOT have a scabby surface either (thank goodness!)